|Not your typical investigators!|
Disclaimer: We are just two sistas trying to get a passing grade in our relief society class, which by the way ain’t always easy. While we may not know how to make a big ol’ beautiful bowl/platter of green jello. There is still something we can do in helping to build the Lord’s kingdom. It was with that thought that we decided to help President Nally, the current Missionary Training Center (MTC) President. The rest of you can just take some notes or print this this entire post if you need to. We’re ‘bout to drop some knowledge on y’all, we gon’ keep it 100% because at the end of the day what you learn today may or may not get you in the door while you are serving in the “inner-city”. Even if the the inner-city you are serving in is located in Salt Lake City, Utah.
What They Ain’t ‘bout to teach you at the MTC!
The Sista's tips for serving in the Inner-City
1. If you are walking down the street and someone kindly yells “Hey, can I holla at ‘cha for a second?” Don’t be alarmed, they don’t actually want to yell at you for a second. They just want to talk to you for an hour or two (It’s a good thing).
2. If your investigator says it’s time for y’all to dip! It don’t got nothing to do with ice-cream or potato chips, put down the dip-N-dots and RUN!
3. If someone starts laughing after you invite them to be baptized then says "you tried it!" They probably aren't going to get baptized anytime soon.
5. Investigator: "My mama said that I gotta be careful of y'all Mormons cause y'all are kind of cra-cra!" Translation: Her mother told her that Mormons are crazy. Don't get offended, just laugh and say "Yes! We are cra-cra for Jesus".
7. There are a whole lot of people who watched the show "Big Love, or B.O.M Musical" and think they know everything there is to know about Mormons. Your response should be similar to this: "We understand that you got your degree as a "Hollywood-Historian" may we leave you a book anyway?"
8. You are going to want to wear your suit baggy enough that people think you are broke, but not so baggy that they think you are try’na make fun of Steve Harvey. Don’t nobody like it when folks start sigging ("signifying" talking about in a funny but negative way) on Black royalty!
9. If somebody rolls up on you and says “separate mine from yours” assume that it’s all theirs, ‘cause you are getting robbed! Sometimes if you start by saying “here’s all of my scriptures.” That might scare them, because don’t nobody want to be known as the dude that robbed a preacher. People in the inner-city feel like sometimes they are in hell, don’t nobody want to die and go to hell for robbing a broke “preacher”.
10. This one is probably the most important piece of advice that we can give you so pay close attention. No matter how tempting it might be, DO NOT attempt Black-face to fit in with your inner-city investigators. Because no matter how much they like you, they will be tempted to slap the Black off of you! Un-like when our mama’s threaten to slap the Black off of us, your Black is probably going to slide right off of your face.
Seriously, Ebonics is more then just a few “slang” words thrown together. While most people don’t think of it as an actual language, to those living in Urban America it’s the language that encompasses where we as a people come from, it’s thought of by many as part of our African American Vernacular. The missionaries who are the most successful in the inner-city are those willing to embrace our culture in a non-judgmental way. So, in the future when you receive your mission call and it says that you are going to the San Diego, California Mission, Foreign speaking: Ebonics, don’t be alarmed. We got’chu, you never know we may just be the ones teaching Ebonics at the MTC!
Holla at 'cha Girlz,
Holla at 'cha Girlz,
Sista Beehive & Sista Laurel