Zion's Home & Visiting Teaching Service
ZION'S HOME & VISITING TEACHING SERVICE: "We care when you don't have time to."
Home/visiting teaching getting you down? Can't get that annoying priesthood leader/Relief Society sister off your back? Home/visiting teaching interfering with your TV, golf or me time? We can help! At Zion's Home & Visiting Teaching Service we'll do your home/visiting teaching for you. For a small monetary fee we will send one of our trained representatives to the homes of your families.
Basic Visit. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $10
Basic Visit plus Spiritual Message . . . . . . . $15
Birthday and anniversary cards in addition to the Basic Visit and Spiritual Message. . . . . $20
Is $20 too much to pay for peace of mind? Call us at 1-800-752-2537. That's 1-800-Slacker.
PLEASE NOTE: Because of heavy volume, an extra $15 will be added for the last day of the month.
Check Out Our New Services!
Meetings: We will send a representative to the appropriate meeting to take notes for you and report back.
Ward Council Meeting: $30
Ward Council Meeting w/ written report: $50
Presidency Meetings: $20
PEC: $25
Sacrament Meeting: $20
Sunday School: $20
Priesthood: $20
3-hour Sunday Block (best value): $50
PLEASE NOTE: Surcharge of 10% for stake meetings. Call us at 1-800-752-2537. That's 1-800-Slacker.
Talks and Lessons: Did a bishopric member call and assign you a talk? Tired of wasting Saturday night preparing a lesson? Well, free up your time and just read one of our professionally prepared talks and lessons. No need to spend countless hours pouring through books, writing and praying. We'll do it for you!
Basic Talk (any subject assigned): $20
Scripture Talk (basic + 5 scriptures): $30
Deluxe Talk (scripture + 1 poem + 2 G.A. quotes): $40
All talks are guaranteed to last 15 minutes. Add $1 for each additional minute.
Basic Lesson (40 minutes): $25
Deluxe (Basic + visual aides): $35
Super Deluxe (Deluxe + Handouts): $45
*Due to high expectations, centerpieces and floral arrangements, Relief Society lessons are slightly higher. Call for quote.
* Due to lower expectations, priesthood lessons receive a 10% discount.
Call us at 1-800-752-2537. That's 1-800-Slacker.
Casserole Service: If you just can't possibly throw together food for various Ward occasions, WE CAN! Our basic services include:
a.. Funeral Potatoes
b.. Green Bean/Mushroom Soup with Crunchy Onions
c.. Green Jell-O with Carrots
d.. Spinach Dip in a Bread Bowl
e.. CheezWiz/Tater Tot Surprise
For only $15 (plus deposit) each delivered to your house with Corningware marked with your name! They'll never know you didn't make 'em! Remember our number: 1-800-S-L-A-C-K-E-R
Introducing our Bundle Buys and Frequent Shopper Plan: Bundle any 3 services and receive a 20% discount. Receive one free Basic talk or lesson with any 10 purchases.
There you have it! We take all the work off of your shoulders and put ours to the wheel just for you. We're not doing the work for you, we are doing you a service, and after all isn't service what it's all about. A good person serves others, and an even better person lets others serve them. Let Zion's Home & Visiting Teaching Service serve you!
Count your blessings,
Sista Beehive & Sista Laurel
28 comments:
LOL!
heehee
There's definitely money to be made here!
;)
I love it! (The casserole one sounds like a good deal, to be honest...If such a thing existed, I might use it for myself. It's cheaper than ordering takeout.)
This was genius. You need to offer a testimony writing service as well. It will cut down on all of the overly-long and just plain wrong testimonies.
Love it!
I would totally use this service...
I'm annoyed I didn't think of this myself. Freaking. Awesome.
Absolutely MARVELOUS!!!
I had not idea there was a cheese whiz/tatertot dish.
Thank you for the giggle!
This is diffidently a LOL moment. I needed a good laugh today. I actually think it is a very good idea.
Blessing to you!
This was a great post!!! Now, can I place an order? Ha!
I like how you waited until the end of the month to post this...!
LOVE IT you sista's are great and so creative!!! now where can I sign up????
Humorous post or genuine business idea ? Either way its a winner !
So funny!
...........
I've been trying to send an email through your contact page but it doesn't seem to be working...it always comes back saying "wrong code."
I'd love it if you could send me your sponsorship rates to alanna@ctrcouture.com. Thanks!!!
Hahahaha!! That was great! Especially the corningware marked in my name. I love it!
How long do I have to wait for another funny post? I need a good laugh.
Can you please post tips on how to get more followers and FB friends. 1,000...I am impressed ladies.
Seriously where can I sign up!
I've seen the home/visiting teaching before but never the new services. I loved the part where you could pay someone to attend a meeting for you. Thanks for a good laugh. :^)
I just found your blog and I am laughing so hard. This is hilarious. I'm definitely going to be a frequent flyer here. Holla!
I know I've seen something like this before in LDS humor, but I can't remember where or when...
On Funeral Potatoes: I'm a life long member, but I never heard about them before, until I saw them mentioned on fMh a few years ago. When I first saw mention of them, I thought at first it was a joke about poisoning someone. I mentioned that to a some people from our Ward going to the Temple, and they all got a laugh from it!
I didn't go to any Funerals before I was a teen, so that may explain why I didn't know about Funeral Potatoes before.
<3 It! especially the Lower Expectations!
THis has got to be the funniest thing I have ever seen!! You gals rock my world. Glad I found you.
Ohhhh, how i wish this was real!! :)
This is hilarious!
Can I deduct this from my tithing?? lol thanks for the laugh!
Try deducting it and let us know if it works for you, we'll let you try it first...haha.
How much for a week of Early Morning Seminary classes? You have to prepare and present :)
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