Acting Mormon
A couple of years ago Kirby Heyborne , an LDS actor known for his work in LDS films such as The R.M, Singles Ward and The Best Two Years, did a beer commercial for Miller Lite. He received some backlash from the LDS community for appearing in the ad. Some called him a “sell out” others questioned his “personal ethics and faith.”
In response to the scrutiny, Heyborne said this in an interview with Deseret News’ Mormon Times: "I'm a temple-worthy member that loves his wife and kids, and fulfills his calling at church and does his home teaching. And yet I'm going to play characters that might have moral dilemmas, or do a commercial -- or whatever it is --because my job is the way that I provide for my family." Heyborne also released this parody:
Recently a group of 12 LDS women posed for the Hot Mormon Muffins: A Taste of Motherhood calendar. Though Chad Hardy, the calendars creator says that his calendar was “created as a vehicle to create dialog and deliberately debunk the subservient stereotypes of women's roles within the Mormon Church,” criticizers called it immodest, sleazy and even pornographic.
Calendar cover girl and mother of three daughters, Tami Roberts, in an Idaho Falls, Local News 8 interview said, "I don't see what the big deal is. I think it's kind of campy and fun.”
Hot topics such as these remind me of when I was younger, having lived in an area that was predominantly non-Mormon, I was often told by my parents that I needed to set a “good example.” What exactly did they mean by that? Well, I was told because I was the one of the few members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that many of my friends and family members knew, I should act in a way that showed others that I was a follower of Christ. As a Latter-day Saint I am always quite conscious of the eyes that may be upon me. I cringe at even the thought of the instances when I have behaved poorly, and a witness to my un-Christ-likeness finds out that I am Christian and LDS.
As a kid it’s hard to be a good example all the time, and as an adult it is even more complex. Children are following their parent’s rules, but as an adult there is no one that says to us, “Because I said so.” Religious leaders, politicians, actors, models, celebrities and all other public figures are scrutinized more so, because they are in the public eye. The whole world is often privy to their words and their actions. Is our scrutiny fair?
Are there exceptions? Would the LDS community have felt differently if Kirby Heyborne had portrayed a beer-drinking investigator of the LDS church or drunk King Laban of the Book of Mormon? Can "Hot Mormon Muffins” of today still be effective Young Women Leaders of tomorrow?
Mosiah 29:12: Now it is better that a man should be judged of God than of man, for the judgments of God are always just, but the judgments of man are not always just. It is not my desire to be an unjust judge; you know what the Bible says, “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” (Did you hear that…all the rocks just fell out of my hand?)
This is what I have come to realize, however unfair it may seem, my personal actions can and often do have an affect on how others view my faith.
Sidenote: I thought about auditioning for next years “Hot Mormon Muffins” calendar (not really), but then they would have to call it Warm Mormon Muffin-Tops (really)!
An imperfect follower of Christ,
Sista Laurel
31 comments:
Yep, what we as LDS members do does seem to be noticed and attributed to our religion for good or bad, especially once we have anything to do with the media, which doesn't seem willing or able to separate the person from the religion.
My main emotion about the Hot Mormon Muffins calendar was surprise. I couldn't understand why an active member would want to do that.
I still don't get it.
"/
I like your post. One of my pet peeves is when people are motivated to do things to 'appear' good more than their actual desire to do something for the right reason.
I get caught in this like anyone else. I'm trying to do things for the right reason, or even stick by my guns when I do something that might raise an eyebrow. We're here in this life to learn things and make choices. In retrospect, we may find that we made a bad choice. Big deal. In many ways, that's why there's an Atonement (not that that gives us license to live life w/o abandon making obviously stupid choices).
Still, I'd rather look back and feel bad about doing something that maybe I shouldn't have than walk around life doing things based on what I think other people think. We should be more concerned with what Christ thinks. Easier to say than do, IMO. I'm still learning more about that every day, and hoping to be better at it when I leave this life than I was coming in.
(On the flip side to my own argument, we need to be aware that what we do is seen by otheres and it influences them - not always for better. We probably underestimated how our own actions affect others.)
Great post. I like how Alan Macfarlane showed the "flip side." That's exactly the conundrum I often find myself in. I don't want to forced to act a certain way, but I also don't want my actions to negatively speak for my religion.
However, I am ok when my actions speak positively for my religion...da dun..conundrum!
This is great! Warm Mormon Muffin-tops made me laugh out loud. I agree with your assessment of the situation. Not cool to judge others for their choices, but I personally try to set the best personal example I can, not just of our religion but of how to live. You never know what kids are picking up on, and they do actually think things like "I like my English teacher and he thinks drugs are funny so maybe I'll try drugs."
When I was explaining to my lapsed-Catholic wine drinking pipe smoking mom the other day why it is that I think it's such a great thing that the LDS community chooses as whole not to drink or smoke or do drugs, she actually agreed with me. We've had a lot of our close friends and family whose lives were destroyed by drinking and drugs. And the culture they grew up in, their parents willingness to drink and party and so on, definitely influenced their choices. She agreed. But she's personally not planning to stop either smoking or drinking.
But it's true that one friend making good choices can influence you deeply for the better. Because we all really feel these things deep inside, too. The Light of Christ (as we LDS call it) is inside there waiting for a chance to come to fruition. Good examples make a huge difference. So I totally feel responsible to be the best I can be not just for myself but to help those around me, and maybe to help the Spirit inspire them, too. Of course I fall short constantly, but I keep trying for the ideal.
But everyone has to make their own decisions about their work, their personal responsibility in different directions, and so on, so I totally don't feel it's my place to have an opinion about others' choices. I think Heyborne's a faithful saint doing his best just like the rest of us. I support his decision to do the ad, and the calander ladies and gentlemen's decision to make those calendars. I get to choose whether or not to buy one.
I love the fact that we are free to choose even as Latter Day Saints. I am grateful for the spirit of the Lord and the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. We don't need to judge another because we can pray and know exactly of which things to partake of or participate in for ourselves. Agency is the great determining factor in each of our lives here in mortality. May we all choose as Paul said those things that are beautiful, lovely, of good report and praise worthy! I feel your blog has these attributes so keep posting:)
Warm muffin tops! HAHAHAHA! You and me both. And you are right, we are under the microscope. I auditioned for a Bud Light commercial. Didn't get it. I decided it was for the best. For me it is a misrepresentation of who I am...but that is for me. And also I just abhor the stuff. It's all about choice. And if you are comfortable with it, than that should be good enough. We are free agents. The Beer commercial was funny. and his rebuttal was clever. This is a great topic for discussion.
In the words of Raheem Devaughn, I personally prefer to be "a lady in the street and a freak when it's bedroom time." :) I have so much more that I could say on the subject of the "hot Mormon muffins," but really, that sums it up for me. (And if you haven't heard Raheem Devaughn's song, "Woman," it's worth listening to! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gXCcLs6HGw)
My good friend's brother is Jon Heder, and we have actually had long discussions about this very topic. It's a shame that we as Mormon's are so quick to judge those of our faith. Yes, I believe in being a good example, but as you said, he was playing a role just like the crazy people in the Liken The Scripture series who are the bad guys. It's time to get over it people and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Every time someone makes some kind of self righteous comment about how Marie Osmond sells dolls on HSN on Sunday or Kirby Heyborne doing a beer commercial, I think of a bishop in Utah that was in my mission who had a gas station and it was operating on Sunday. He was an amazing guy. My stone permanently dropped out of my hand a long time ago...let's all give each other some slack. And being an example of perfection is not what we want to portray(it's fake)...how about an example of someone that is imperfect and gets back up and tries everyday to live more like Christ by loving and serving one another.
From a sister that grew up in the "Hood"
My first reaction to the calendar honestly was "where are her garments?"...than probably sounds stereotypical to assume all mormon mommies get married in the temple, but it is what we strive for. I am tired of women in the church and more specifically Mothers trying to be hot. Women should want to be attractive and more importantly look like moms vs. a pin up girl. I think it is contrary to what we are taught. Traditional values are always deemed by the world as negative, who cares?? Love you blog! :)N
I completely agree with this post, and I definately need to drop those stones!
That said.. the mormon muffins or whatever..I don't understand. They're sending a message that surely they wouldn't want their children to live by - that to be sexy and attractive, 'you should drop personal standards and be immodest' - I don't get it.
It's not even the sexiness that bothers me, I think there are tons of hot mormon mums.. but isn't modesty one of the typical mormon 'taglines'? So to have a woman showing a bit of cleavage on the cover of the calendar.. well doesn't that go against the point of having a mormon in the first place?
This might be a really dumb question - I'm not mormon, but I know that mormons dont drink so I guess I see why people might not like the beer commercial - but why can't the women pose for the calendar? - It's not nude, am I missing something? Some commenters said mormons have standards of immodest - what does that mean?
This was a great post! I wanted to add that Kirby also smoked in the LDS film "Saints and Soldiers".
I love Kirby Heyborne and so I was totally shocked when I saw that beer commercial. I honestly thought his fame had gone to his head and he had fallen away from the church. I was so glad to see that he is still active.
I guess that is a great example of a mormon (me) jumping to conclusions and passing judgement on something that is not even true.
To Anonymous @12:45
In our church, we have been given guidelines "modesty" -- basically what parts of the body we should cover. The girls in the calendar are more scantily clad than the leaders of our church, acting through inspiration, have recommended (which we sometimes say is "immodest"). For some, it's a little tricky to justify, since they are proclaiming that they are Mormon, yet publicly acting against guidelines prescribed by the church. Hence the questions raised of whether they should be acting in accordence with their beliefs -- which, of course, isn't really anyone's place to judge, but it does make us think a little more about our own behavior.
Oh may I PLEASE join you in your muffin top calendar!!!! We could even have a special bubble butt month featuring yours truly! Where do I sign? You ladies make me laugh so hard! Which is totally why I left an award for ya over at mma!
Portraying someone who drinks alcohol is different than participating in the promotion of alcohol
A beer commercial promotes alcohol This is why I think Kirby received negative feedback regarding the beer ad
IMO
Most Mormons are fake anyway.. Of course there are a few who actually live day to day like a good Mormon and the rest are really only a good Mormon in church, some not even then. Just one example of this was a man I knew that was the Perfect Mormon at church, But when he was home he would beat his kids, degrade them and call his 13 year old daughter a slut for asking for umm.. monthly feminine products. I have seen this behavior from way to many Mormons.. I was raised Mormon for 18 years I had to see cases like this. I would say growing up in a prominent mormon state only maybe 15 percent of the mormons I know really live up to being Mormon. I just want you all to know that yes people are watching you in and outside of church. So if your going to be Mormon and say your Mormon actually BE MORMON! As of now Mormons do have a bad rap because you preach and push your religion and believes on others and then turn around and do the opposite.
I am fake every day of my life. Doing the right thing is not always easy or desireable or even something I want to do. But I do it. I am faking it until I make it all the way to Celestial Kingdom.
I think if we don't let loose once in a while WE GO CRAZY! Too much of acting or being any one way is tragic. Even the Prophets have been known to wrestle, and dual with their canes ;) lol. Being balanced and able to relate to others to reach more people by example is key
Sue, when I read your comment about the media, I thought again what I have thought many times. I don't want the media to separate me from my religion. I am a reflection of my religion, in every aspect of my life, good or bad, and definitely including my job or career (whether it be an actor, singer, or mother). My choices, my actions are always connected to my religious beliefs. My beliefs are the reason for, the motivation for, those actions. Even when I make a wrong choice, the very fact that I know it's wrong is because of my beliefs. I cannot disconnect the two. I don't think the media is wrong to connect the two, I just think the media is wrong to believe that it is correct to report everything that they do in a so-called objective manner, when in reality they are sharing things without permission, without regard for feelings, and with a whole lot of subjectivity. And why do I know this? Because I choice to take part in it. Don't have to, but I do unfortunately.
I also have always been so confused (and still am) when I hear an LDS person (or any person of any faith) talk about their career by saying, "It's what I do, it's not who I am" or "My religion is what I believe, but it doesn't define what I do, they are two separate things." How? It just doesn't seem to jive. It's like living two different value systems. I have never been able to see how you can live your religion (whatever religion) and believe that it is separate from what you do. But, I continually hear people say that. How can what you belief not influence the songs you sing, the movies you act in, the clothing you model, the books you read, the things you say? It has to. If it doesn't, then I just don't think it really is your religion.
Having said that, I remember reading about Kirby Heybourne and the beer commercial. I was a bit bummed knowing that he had chosen to do that. I remember reading that he was struggling and he felt it was an answer to prayer to keep his family afloat. Could be. I truly don't know and I don't need to. I do not hold a position in his life that requires me to make a judgement. I do remember thinking of LDS people who own or work in establishments where alcohol is served or gambling takes place or whose career means that they work every Sunday and cannot always attend church. It's a good thing that God knows the heart of each person and I don't have to. I also try to remember that God gave each of us agency, intelligence, and light and the only way to grow in His gospel is to use that agency and choose for ourselves (hopefully with His guidance). So, I've simply got to be focused on being comfortable with my choices and let others do the same. That doesn't mean that I won't feel disappointment, sadness, or discomfort because of others' choices, and that's just the way it is. So, when I saw the calendar above, my thought was, "Oh. I am uncomfortable seeing that. I will look at something else that I feel better about." Simple as that.
FWIW and combining this an another recent post, "Mormon Times" has an interview with Naomi Kahoilua Wilson, who played Mahana in the original "Johnny Lingo."
.
Money quote:
.
Mahana, Wilson's only film role, became a compass for her through her life.
.
She recalled being approached to do a TV commercial that she would have been handsomely compensated for -- but was for a local beer company.
.
"I thought about it," she said. "The money. But I immediately thought, 'Mahana can't do that.' So I turned it down."
.
(http://mormontimes.com/people_news/people_church/?id=13631)
Actually, Sjel, I think we're on the same page with this one...Maybe I didn't express myself very well.
=)
Great post.
Would have been better w/o giving the hot muffins more attention and more screen time, though, imo. Sort of ended up taking away from the post for me. I get really tired of seeing those images somehow tied to mormon womanhood and motherhood. meh.
What a great post....I have too many thoughts to post, and most have been said here, but I will agree with the mommy muffin top/bubble butt/chorister arm waddle calendar. It's all good!!!
Great post! Must be a hot topic by all the responses. I hadn't even heard of the Mormon Moms calendar and was a little shocked when I saw what they were wearing, but then again mens/missionary calendar wasn't exactly up there with high standards, either. It made me laugh when I read that they were trying to break the mormon mom stereo-type. It's a stereo type for a reason good or bad! So, my question for them is why didn't they do something like showing a mom being a biker or a skateboarder?...someone who isn't the typical "barefoot, pregnant and chained to the stove" and still has values. There's not much that separated those ladies from any other women's calendar that promotes women as meat instead of people except a tiny bit more clothing and a little less cleavage!
But, at the end of the day we can only make decisions and be accountable for our own actions and that is all that really matters.
This is awesome. I love your blog.
Great discussion topics.
I think there is a difference between Kirby getting a paying gig and the Mormon Housewife Calendar and it's that Kirby was just being an actor with no known affiliation with the church. What acting jobs accepts is up to him, and he definitely does not say that the church or even he himself endorses alcohol.
However, the Mormon Housewife Calendar is specifically associating itself with being "Mormon" and thus with the LDS church, and it's also association dress styles (low-cut, no sleeves) that is directly again church dress standards. So, yes, those women are allowed to dress however they want in their own lives, but when they decide to publish something with the name of the church in it then they need to reflect the standards of the church.
Anonymous of July 17, 2010 is absolutely correct. That's the difference between Bro. Heyborne and the calendar. I also appreciated manaen's post.
I can't and will not judge Bro. Heyborne's choice. I can, however, be disappointed in his choice or think to myself that I would have made a different choice--all without being judgmental.
However, I can be judgmental about women choosing to be exhibitionist. We in this day and age have become numb to what is modest dress and behavior. We have our standards. Period. No, let me correct that--the Lord has His standards. Period. What these mothers did for the calendar is exhibitionist. And the mere thought of "I'm a sexy Mormon mother" is repulsive and offensive to everything we stand for.
I'm bothered by the number of bridesmaids I see on temple grounds getting their pictures taken who are not up to LDS dress standards. And like Anonymous, I can be offended when someone, purporting to be representative of the Lord's church, enjoys being "campy." Like the mothers of this world who get tatoos and the example and lesson that teaches their children, I do not understand LDS mothers who allow their young toddlers through their teenage daughters dress in immodest clothing and bathing suits.
I am so tired of Mormons who, feeling the fingers of scorn pointing at them from the tall and spacious building, feel that they have to be "non-conformist" and break some LDS "stereotype." They enjoy, as one General Authority so aptly put it (Maxwell?), thinking that they have one foot in the kingdom and one foot in the world. They can have their just reward. But don't go around advertising that you are a Mormon.
This is all I have to say about it, "I will stand as a witness in all times and in all places."
Brad I agree with much of what you said, but what is so wrong with being a sexy Mormon mother? I'm Mormon, a mother, I dress modestly and carry myself like a lady and yes I'm sexy too.
I think what makes people think "shame!" over the two examples you just listed is because they are contributing to negative publicity and mixed messages of LDS people about the Word of Wisdom and sexuality. The beer commercial was selling, persuading and encouraging people to drink. A LDS actor who pretends to be a drunken bad guy is not advocating or helping others solicit alcohol. The "muffins" calendar does not educate non-members about how Heavenly Father instructed us all to treat our bodies. If you can't be wearing your temple garments while being photographed (which the woman on the cover obviously wasn't) in a calendar about Latter-Day Saint women; that's just bad form.
How do we know if the woman on the cover is even temple endowed. No one cares when Jimmer appears on the cover of Sports Illustrated in a sleeveless basketball jersey. Why does a calendar need to "educate?" It's a calendar for crying out loud!
Post a Comment