Testimony By Invitation Only
I was once at a testimony meeting where a General Authority was visiting. A man stood up and said. "What do I need to do to be a G.A.? What do I need to do to be the first "Black Prophet"? Yes, he did! Yes, I laughed (not out loud). Yes, I wish I had a "Pink Panic Button" I would have pushed it as soon as he turned to look at the G.A. cause I knew it wasn't going to be good. It was wrong on so many different levels.
If I had the Priesthood, testimony meetings would be run a little different. Yes, they would still be highly emotional. However, members would be able to bare testimonies by invitation only. There would be instructions on what a testimony is and how one should bare it. There would be a mandatory time limit on how long a testimony should take. Stories are acceptable, however, they would have to pertain to the testimony and must be a testimony that will strengthen members of the congregation. There would be consequences for those brothas and sistas that are always breaking the rules. I would call it the "Pink Panic Button".
Although women are more emotional then men, we are less confrontational. I would never embarrass another brotha or sista by standing next to them and whispering in their ear that what they were saying was inappropriate, even if it was. Nor would I tug on a skirt or pant leg to let a person know that they've gone over the allotted time. I would simply push the "Pink Panic Button".
When the pink button is pushed the floor underneath the speaker opens up and the speaker takes a wild slide ride that leads to a room where they would have to read the article where President Monson talks about building a strong testimony, until church was over. On second thought, I don’t want the priesthood, I just want to get the "Pink Panic Button" implemented fast!
Sista Beehive
6 comments:
I love (hate) serial testimony bearers. Maybe I should be more spiritual so that EVERY month I have a life changing experience that I HAVE to share with the congregation. I have had one, maybe two, OK, three experiences in my life that were so spiritual that they changed my life. They were AMAZING experiences, and the last thing I would do with them is get up in front of a few hundred people and talk about them.
I found you in the Blog World.... I miss you. You are an amazing writer! Shawna and I have been working on a new site that launched in Sept. 5000moms.com What a fabulous blog you have.
But if testimonies were by invitation only, there would be no hilarious stories to blog!
There have been more than a few times when I've watched a bishop's face on the stand during someone's testimony (especially when that someone was sort of winging it with the doctrine) and could tell that he would definitely have taken advantage of that pink panic button of yours had it been available.
I can even remember a time or two when I would have pushed such a button myself!
;)
Amen, sista!
I think my Bishop wished for one of those buttons the time the non-member, agenda-toting, holier-than-thou woman from another church got up and blasted us Moromon and talked about how her belief of Christ was more right than ours, and how we didn't even know what Christ did for us!
But, on the plus side, all the testimony bearers after her truly testified of their belief in Christ, and it turned out to be one of the best F&T meetings I've ever attended!
I don't believe that having the priesthood means anything other than having the authority to perform ordinances, but I don't think it allows you to decide the format of meetings or anything...which means that NOT having it doesn't exclude you from in put on how a worship service in your church is run.
I say write up the proposal and see where it goes...I'm not sure how long it will take to get a budget approved for the installation of trap doors in the floor though.
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