Jerry Springer In Sacrament Meeting
Oh Brothers and Sisters, you want to hear embarrassing church stories. So this was during my Jackie Years (you know the female version of a "Jack Mormon"). Before I knew that watching Jerry Springer was against the "Words of Wisdom"(or at least it should be).
Jerry Springer was my favorite pass time. I watched Jerry while I cleaned. Jerry was my company when I cooked dinner. Pretty much when my wonderful hubby was working, Jerry was the man of the house. My husband had warned me about watching the Jerry Springer Show...Especially in front of our 8 children. I even refused to acknowledge my Jerry addiction when the sisters in Relief Society warned against the dangers of watching such crud. Telling myself that "if it were really an issue the "Brethren" would address the issue (they never did).
Any who, I didn't think that applied to my 18 month old who's brain was developing daily and she was learning faster then Jerry and I could teach her. I had convinced my husband that I had broken up with Jerry, and that my 18 month old and I had been spending the day watching Barney and educational videos.
However little did we (hubby,and I) know that my secret would soon be out. Imagine this brotha's and sista's...Oops, I do mean brother's and sister's. Sitting in Sacrament Meeting waiting for the Sacrament... My baby raises her hands over her head, starts pumping her fists up and down, and chanting "Eerry, Eerry, Eerry,". Realizing what she was saying I quickly tried to quiet her, as I was reaching for my 18 month old, my husband, bishop, and a few others quickly glanced over in my direction. Making eye contact with my husband, I said "what, it's from a long time ago" (can't remember if I ever repented for that lie, for sure on my list of to do's). He just gave me one of those looks that said it all. I knew, that he knew, that I hadn't really broken up with Jerry. What was I to do, except hold my head up and act normal. The thought that kept going through my head was "never let 'em see you sweat".
After Sacrament, the Bishop asked, what she was chanting with a sly smirk on his face... My only reply was " I don't know, hubby had her all day yesterday". Again, not sure I ever got that cleared up. (How late is too late to repent?). Anyway, grateful for three things in this story, a child that probably could have used some speech therapy. A Bishop that was young and had a sense of humor, and God blessing me with some color, so that when I get embarrassed I don't turn bright red, instead I get a nice shade of purple... Amen!
P.S. I can honestly say I've had 11 yrs of Jerry Springer Sobriety!!
Thank you so much for sharing your most embarrassing chapel stories, keep them coming! We love sharing the Spirit and Sharing our silly moments with our brothers and sisters! It makes us all feel "Blessed and Highly Favored!!"
God Speed,
Sista Beehive
8 comments:
11 years because of your new boyfriend? Or just replacing one addiction with something "better"? This story made me smile...and I know exactly who that baby is and I'm sure we could share a few "sistaly" moments...with kids and without.
Thanks to our 2 year old, we have had a few "moments". First, the little guy sees the boys leaving the sacrament table to hand out the bread. He stands on his chair, pointing and saying, "NONUTS! NONUTS! NONUTS! (this kid was going through a donut phase) and seemed very disappointed when the trays came and it was only bread. The other one was when he had eaten his piece of bread and then when I told him he could only have one piece, starts screaming "MO BREAD!!" (laughter in the middle of the passing of the sacrament isn't a sin, right? :) Yes, I took the child out as he was screaming for more bread....honestly, we DO feed him. So, after these two outburst, I could hardly contain myself when, in the middle of a long prayer, he unfolds him arms, looks around, and says "ALL DONE!" Honestly, I think he was only voicing what the rest of us were thinking. :) by Deena Lane
My moms water broke while she was in sacrament meeting.My mom doesnt even seem embarassed about it. But I am because I was the baby that was born that day. Ive grown up with the same joke my whole life. Every Sunday someone says look how old your getting I remember when you were almost born on that pew right there. And then I laugh like Ive never heard that joke before. : | thanks a lot mom!
my favorite day was about two months after my third child was weaned. In a hurry for church, the only dress I could find was the one I used on occasion for nursing.
This dress is awesome, because it buttons down the middle, but when I'm not nursing, it's sort of loose and the buttons need to be pinned, or the top couple buttons undo themselves.
So, primary program Sunday, we were near the front, because it was my four year olds first time up. The two year old started crying, and I picked him up to cuddle for a moment.
Putting him back on the pew next to me, I got back to life as usual ... until about five minutes later when I looked down and realized I was unbuttoned from top to waist ... exposing just about everything I was blessed with.
To this day, nobody ever mentioned it, but that dress is never used without safety pins anymore!
-Laura
Laurafahn (at) gmail (dot) com.
not to put ya business in the street. but to put ya business in the street: aint this the same sista beehive that got me hooked on cheaters?
My father was in the bishopric and very nervous in front of the congregation: twice he had the ward sustain the priesthood advancement of one of my friends from a Teacher to a "Preacher."
Haha!!!! Your blog is hilarious. I love it!
Wow...you are a good writer.....thanks
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