Foreplay at Church?
We love all the emails we've been getting, especially about topics you'd like us to blog about. A Sister, who shall remain nameless, asked this question:
I am a single adult member of the church and was wondering. Why all the rubbing? I'm always sitting through sacrament meetings watching all the couples rubbing all over each other. Are they trying to make all the single people jealous? We get it, you have someone and we don't. Doesn't all that touching, stroking, rubbing, and whispering ignite the flames of romance (edited to find a more tender word than the one she used, hope you don't mind Sister)? Saw your blog loved it and thought maybe you could answer this question for me?
We are working on a response to this Sister's question. What about it? Since we both might be guilty as charged, help us out! Are couples always rubbing each other? Do other singles find this annoying? Do we need more fire extinguishers at church? Is this why Mormons have so many kids?
Sista Beehive & Sista Laurel
21 comments:
Hahahahaha yes is is sooooooo annoying! I go to a singles ward and I do think they are trying to rub it in our faces. Tell her she is not alone.
As a young adult in the church, I have sat on both sides of this firery fence, and I have seen it both ways. Yes, it is true that LDS couples tend to be a little more handsy in the pews than those of other faiths, and if you are single and forced to keep your hands to yourself, it is less than enthusing to watch. So, to the sister, I must say you are right. Now to the foreplay notion, hmmm well whatever gets the job done I guess. If the spirit so "livens" you, then God bless. I mean, there are many worse things that can excite. So to my single sista, my only advice would be to sit in the 1st pew with the missionaries that way all you can see is the bishopric, and if your lucky find a cute investigator to read your scriptures with. ;)
I like when my wife rubs my back at church. I probably shouldn't have her do it not because its "igniting flames of romance" but it is very relaxing and does make me want to close my eyes when I should be listening to the talk.
My now-wife joined the Church a couple years ago in the LA, CA Stake. She said that she noticed the love the first time she attended. I thought she meant how she was welcomed but she was talking about how the couples visibly care for each other.
.
Maybe we'll use the current topic for our FHE lesson tonight...
Tell her its jealousy and it will pass. I felt the same when I was single, but now that I'm married I think its fine and I know I'm guilty of it too. Once she's married she will be rubbing along with the rest of us.
I like Ashley's suggestion about sitting in the front row with the cute investigators!
This would be a great topic for FHE in my singles ward!
Well, I hop not. I'm not thinking of others when my back is being rubbed...I want it rubbed for purely selfish reasons...I like it...that's the bottom line. Plus, rubbing other things would be a little embarrassing in the chapel...lol I guess my other comment is, when I was single, I just sat up front b/c the bishop and his counselors don't engage in this kind of love.
As a European member, I am always astonished by this rubbing as do my European lds friends when they attend a sacrament meeting in the US. It is not that we are prudish, oh no, but after all, we are in a chapel, not at home.
A loving way to keep awake during a long, boring talk maybe?
I did used to have my husband rub my back during church just to keep him moving so that he could stay awake. Now that he is in the bishopric we just take bets in our pew as to how long it will take him to fall asleep on the stand. (is that wrong?) :)
Yep, way way WAY annoying. It isn't like us singles aren't alienated enough with lessons on raising children and having a good marriage... let's isolate them and practice all the PDA we can so they know what they're missing... in fact, hey... why don't we call them to serve in the Nursery while we're at it?
I used to watch those couples when I was single, and instead of irritating me, I used to think, that's the way I want to be someday.
Then someday arrived, and I discovered that that little holding hands and rubbing during church, is often all we get... all week. or it's occasionally an apology for arguments from that morning.
Yes, they shouldn't be having wild make out sessions during church, but a little love, a small show of affection, is often what a marriage needs to be strengthened.
Sometimes sitting next to each other in church is the only time my hubby and I get together all week, so we may be a little affectionate with each other. Nothing over the top though.
I'm used to all the "foreplay" but it is very embarrassing when I am bringing a non-member to Church with me. 9 times out of 10 they always comment on it.
I agree with the person that said it makes you sleepy. The speakers spend a lot of time preparing their talks and we should be listening instead of dozing because our spouse is tickling our back. Speaking as someone who is guilty of this.
Mormons so do this all the time, its very true. But I don't think its sexual at all, to me, it just feels lovely and relaxing, I love having my back tickled, my girlfriends and I do it all the time. Especially if you get bored in sacrament. Very true that people spend time preparing talks,I agree, but anyone who will say they've never been distracted in sacrament is lyyyingggg.
I think couples can do pretty what they want in sacrament(within reason), they are married after all, who's going to stop a husband from giving his wife a small sign of affection. Who would even want to?!
I'm married and I find it annoying too. Keep it private, people.
Oh yes, we certainly do this to make you singles jealous. NOT, get over yourself. When families do touch and put an arm around one another or rub their neck or arm, is is a sign of affection. Also this is probably the first time during the week they have actually had time to sit quietly by each other and listen to the speakers. I think it is ok to show signs of affection to our spouses and our children. And my husband is a high priest and sometimes it is a great way to keep him awake. When I see a husband and wife sitting with their children between them it makes me feel bad that they are missing out on sitting by each other in this meeting that sets me back on track for the week and fills me up, with my husband next to me it is all the better.
I've been a member for 7 years and this is one of the traditions that i REFUSE to get into. First of all. the chapel is not the place to stroke someone else's body and secondly ive seen girl-on-girl backstroke/massaging and its TOTALLY lesbionic. Theres a reason the priesthood-holders arent randomly stroking eachother- its inappropriate. When I was in the singles branch and started dating a guy who wanted to rub my back during sacrament meeting, I looked that dude in the eyeball with a straight face and asked him why on earth he was feeling me up.
But it never stops at the simple backrub- theres a full-out massage of the neck and shoulders and then weaving fingers in and out of the hair. Unnecessary and distracting. I dont want to see the couples feeling eachother up when I'm supposed to be thinking of how Christ bled from every pore. Couples- get over yourselves. The rest of the world doesnt need to be privy to your private intimate moments. Single women- stop being soooooo gay.
I too feel it is unappropriate. There is a time and place for everything, and sacrament meeting is not the place. We singles do not begrudge your happiness, we are happy for you. That said, would you be doing this if the Saviour were sitting on the bench next to you, or even on the stand?
this brought a mission memory I haven't heard before from my husband. We are guilty to, its not meant to be in your face, but I can see how it could come off like that. On another note, I love this blog! I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while!
Yes i notice it too , thought it was only me ! Lol annoying as heck , even saw an old woman rubbing her bald hubbys head . And its never a warm full handed back rub , its always done with fingernails lightly scratching almost in a sexual way . I feel like its a big show as if to say look how devoted i am and attentive to my husband . Fake as heck ANNOYING !
Post a Comment