Coming Out of the Closet

When I was younger all of my close friends knew that I was LDS. I often invited my friends to church with me and I wore that weird green ring with CTR on it. I think that people of all religions have those distinct times when they come out of the religious closet. I've had many of those times in my life and I'm sure I’ll have many more. I’m talking about the first time you announce to someone that you are Mormon, or the first time a certain group of people find out. It happens to me every time I move to a new place or make a new friend.

I remember one of the first times I stepped out of the Mormon closet at school. I was in the 5th grade. We had come to the section on religion in Social Studies class and the teacher was calling out the religions and picking students to be in each group. I glanced through the chapter to see which religion I wanted to raise my hand for, and to my surprise I saw a tiny paragraph with the word MORMONISM as the title. When she called Mormonism I raised my hand, wiggled in my chair, even made some noises, but some how I ended up in the Hinduism group.

We worked on our projects for weeks and then it was the day to present. I had a great group and we had someone who practiced Hinduism in our group, so we had a lot of cool stuff to show off. We rocked it. When it was time for the group on Mormonism to present, a classmate (I can’t say her name, even though it was a long time ago she recently found me on facebook and she might remember), gets up there and starts telling a story about Joe Smith and a gold Bible. It was a fantastic story, we were all engaged, I just don’t know what it had to do with Mormonism. I loved Primary and I always paid attention, and I had never heard this story before. Then when they got to the part about Brigham Young she kept saying, Brig Ham (like the meat) Young. They told how Mormons wore funny clothes, thought coffee and tea would turn you into the devil, how it was more of a cult than a religion, all kinds of craziness! The teacher asked them why they had no visual aids and items to share with the class. They said because Mormons don’t believe in having things so they couldn’t get any, most of the Mormons died in the desert and the rest were in Utah so they couldn’t interview anyone who was Mormon.

I know what you’re thinking, F+! So I raised my hand and told the teacher that they were pronouncing Brigham Young’s name wrong and that the group and the book were wrong. How do you know?, she said. Because I’m Mormon, I said. Everyone was looking at me shocked. One of my friends said to me, I didn’t know you were Mormon. I looked at her like she was crazy; you’ve been to church with me a bunch of times. Oh, that’s the Mormon Church, she said.

My teacher asked if in the following week I could talk to the class about Mormonism, bring some items to show the class, like the gold bible, and even dress in Mormon attire. Sure I said…..for extra credit (I’m a hustler baby!). My teacher told the class to think about any questions they had about Mormons and I would answer them next week. I went home and told my parents, my teacher wants me to dress like a Mormon and talk about the church, what should I wear? Jeans, my Dad said.

The day of my presentation I wore a stylish church dress, some frilly dress socks, a polished pair of dress shoes, my hair looked fly (see Sista Beehive, Mormons are SHARP!). I talked about the LDS faith and what we believe, showed them what I had brought, showed them the Book of Mormon (had to explain why it was blue and not gold). Then finally I opened it up for questions. My peers started raising their hands and the questions kept coming.

How many Moms do you have? (I didn’t even know about the polygamy thing back then, so I had no idea what they were talking about). Where’s your hat and your cloak? (I’m not Amish). I heard you guys drink special water? (Yeah, Nephi’s spit). How come you’re alive? (Note to self, don’t sit by the morbid kid). Are you allowed to watch TV? (I’m not Amish). Are you married? (Are you high?) How come you don’t have a horse and buggy? (I’m not Amish). Is that why your Mom is always pregnant? (Don’t talk about my Mama!) Are Mormons the people from the Mayflower? (Nope, those we’re Pilgrims, you’re thinking of Pioneers). Mormons don’t like black people. (I like myself). Name a famous Mormon. (Dale Murphy). Mormons are weird! (Yo Mama!)……….and finally the bell rang.

Come out of the Mormon closet lately? What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever been asked about Mormons? Have a question about Mormons that you are dying to ask?

Sista Laurel